Marcus Aurelis is quoted as saying
“accept the things to which fate binds you, and love the
people with whom fate brings you together, but do so with all your heart”.
I know I hark on a lot about fate, but it is something I am genuinely interested in. Why do we meet the people we do, when we do? Think about how you met your partner or your best mate? Think of the circumstances that led to that encounter. I had almost known my husband for about 15 years before we actually met. We had mutual friends, but neither of us was aware of the other, I even have a photo of a group of friends taken years before we met, and he is in it! We shouldn't have even met on the day we did, as neither of us were going to go to the event, but for some reason we both changed our minds and have now been married for almost 13 years!
It is the same with friendships, some develop gradually over time, some are instant! That spark between two people who don't know each other, when you think "oh my goodness, we are going to have so much fun together". Some people walk into our lives just when we need them and we wonder
how we ever managed without them - now that has to be fate. doesn't it? We make our minds up about liking or disliking someone instantly and unconsciously, whether face to face or on the phone. If asked we probably wouldn't actually be able to explain why we felt the way we did about the person.
And so, once random people are now our friends, people who we love and care for, and they us. Some friends we see every day, we see each other at our best and at our worst and yet somehow we manage not to kill each other. Then we have the friends who we don't see for months or years, yet when we do we pick things up immediately where we left off, as if no time had passed at all. If you think about it, friendships are really quite amazing. Friends: the family we choose for ourselves.
And so, once random people are now our friends, people who we love and care for, and they us. Some friends we see every day, we see each other at our best and at our worst and yet somehow we manage not to kill each other. Then we have the friends who we don't see for months or years, yet when we do we pick things up immediately where we left off, as if no time had passed at all. If you think about it, friendships are really quite amazing. Friends: the family we choose for ourselves.
Like many people, I have different circles of friends, like Sarah, who has been my school friend since we were 11- partners in
crime for the last 30 years. My university friends Chantelle and Graham, who
I still see regularly, generally to retrieve my stolen laundry! My antenatal friends Pat, Becky,
Andrea and Heather who I met at antenatal classes pregnant with our
first babies, and now 11 years on we still meet every six weeks for a meal. "We are a bit like Sex and the City, but without the sex, and in the countryside" says Pat! Then
there are my Frome friends, but I will talk about these guys in my next
blog. I also have my SK friends.
I re enact English Civil War battles, a member of Sir George Lisle's regiment of Foote, in fact. Over the years I have meet some weird and wonderful people, in some cases, wonderfully weird people, in the Sealed Knot! We are all scattered across the UK and come from very different backgrounds, we may not see each other for months, years even, yet we are all friends. Friends who educate others about history, raise money for charity, wear odd clothes and have the occasional (!) drink.
I re enact English Civil War battles, a member of Sir George Lisle's regiment of Foote, in fact. Over the years I have meet some weird and wonderful people, in some cases, wonderfully weird people, in the Sealed Knot! We are all scattered across the UK and come from very different backgrounds, we may not see each other for months, years even, yet we are all friends. Friends who educate others about history, raise money for charity, wear odd clothes and have the occasional (!) drink.
When the chips are down, however, it doesn't matter where in the world you are, or how long ago you saw them, your friends are all there to help. This was brought home to me recently when my friend Shelley's house was severely damaged by a fire. Thankfully neither she nor her son were injured, but her friends, her Lisle's family and complete strangers, who saw her plight on Facebook, sprung into action. All these people helped in some way by offering to clean up the fire damage, moving her to temporary accommodation, donating household items or donated money to replace Christmas presents lost in the fire.
Why though? Why should people give their time or money for someone else, if there is no personal gain to be had? This is the thing about friendship, it is not about "What do I get if I do this for you?" or "What's in it for me?" but "How can I help?" and " I am here for you!"
Why though? Why should people give their time or money for someone else, if there is no personal gain to be had? This is the thing about friendship, it is not about "What do I get if I do this for you?" or "What's in it for me?" but "How can I help?" and " I am here for you!"
Like Shelley, I too, am very lucky to have some amazing friends, and as you will see, one of the difficulties I will face when we move to Orkney is leaving these wonderful, bonkers, generous, daft people, in geographic terms, behind. I feel really quite sad about this at times and wonder if we are doing the right thing.
But, back to fate... Or as I shall call it today... Facebook.
Facebook! It is as brilliant as it is terrifying. It puts you in touch with friends old and new, relationships destroyed and rekindle at the press of the "enter" key. It brings out the best and the worst of people, but truth be told, I am a bit of a Facebook fiend and on it most days. So it seemed to me an obvious tool to use in gathering more information about Orkney and as a way of getting in touch with people, and this is what has made me change my theme for today...
People of Orkney... You Rock! My poor old phone has been red hot with messages coming in from Orcadians all over the island offering help and support. I have had messages from people offering to help us move or find us houses to rent. The headmaster of the school, it transpires, is from my home town and offered to loan me his house for heavens sake!! I also have a coffee date set up already for June with a lovely lady called Sara! None of these people know me, I am just another name on a Facebook feed, I could be anyone! Yet people have gone out of their way to offer a hand of friendship based on little more than the fact we might just live on the same island together at some point in the future.
Moving anywhere, whether it be to a new job, a new school or a new house, is stressful! One of the worries that leads to this stress is the fact we are starting from scratch all over again. We worry that we might not make friends, that we might be isolated - after all, you can live in the World's most populated city, and still be alone! Perhaps because it is so isolated, being 10 miles across the Pentland Firth from the Scottish mainland, that Orkney islanders are so friendly, the community depends on everyone working together and helping each other.
Whatever the reason, I am very grateful, and excited about saying "hello" to these new friends. However, I won't be saying "goodbye" to my old friends any time soon, just "see you tomorrow in Facebook Land".
People of Orkney... You Rock! My poor old phone has been red hot with messages coming in from Orcadians all over the island offering help and support. I have had messages from people offering to help us move or find us houses to rent. The headmaster of the school, it transpires, is from my home town and offered to loan me his house for heavens sake!! I also have a coffee date set up already for June with a lovely lady called Sara! None of these people know me, I am just another name on a Facebook feed, I could be anyone! Yet people have gone out of their way to offer a hand of friendship based on little more than the fact we might just live on the same island together at some point in the future.
Moving anywhere, whether it be to a new job, a new school or a new house, is stressful! One of the worries that leads to this stress is the fact we are starting from scratch all over again. We worry that we might not make friends, that we might be isolated - after all, you can live in the World's most populated city, and still be alone! Perhaps because it is so isolated, being 10 miles across the Pentland Firth from the Scottish mainland, that Orkney islanders are so friendly, the community depends on everyone working together and helping each other.
Whatever the reason, I am very grateful, and excited about saying "hello" to these new friends. However, I won't be saying "goodbye" to my old friends any time soon, just "see you tomorrow in Facebook Land".
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